I’m not a confused kid. Far from it. I’m what is often called a “geezer”. For many years, before I grew into geezerhood, I was a “ladies’ man.” I didn’t play many sports because I’d prefer to sit in the stands and enjoy them with the girls. When I did do a sport, it was usually one that would attract women; water skiing, racing (sports cars, speed boats, sailboats) and canoeing.

I don’t claim to understand “women”. Each woman is an individual as is each man, and must be accepted as she is. Rather, this is about we males and females and what we think we want. I admit to confusion as I observe the machinations wherever I see society.

I have had occasion to drive through a deeply Hasidic neighbourhood. On the streets were the hurrying men, all in black with wide-brimmed hats. Women pushing carriages, carefully covered with long, heavy fabric dresses, stiff wigs and covered heads. Boys,  many boys, teenaged boys and girls are also in the garb of their sects, with long curled earlocks hanging out of the boys’ black hats. The orthodox Jews are trained to avoid any physical arousal, hence the unattractive costumes.

On the streets in the Hasidic area, shaded by broad maple trees that line the way, there are, of course, non-orthodox people. Some Christian families and non-observant families are within the neighbourhood. On a summer afternoon, a trio of splendidly slim teenaged girls are gabbing together while walking up the street. Their cut-off jeans are cut to near nothing, and their tank tops revealed movement beneath them.

I focused my attention on a pair of Hasidic teenage boys. For a moment I wondered how they felt about the heavy, black costume and hats in the heat of a summer afternoon. I watched intently to see them sneak peeks at the splendid girls just ahead of them. It didn’t happen. The two boys kept their heads down, faces turned somewhat toward each other, and never a glance and the girls. I imagined a conversation they might have been having.

“I love the legs on the blond with the tight top.”

“I prefer the short one with the suntan. I wonder what she looks like naked.”

“Don’t speak so. The rabbi will know.”

“I wish I could just touch one of them some day.”

Of course, if the boys had been “real” boys. In other words, boys that had not been brainwashed from birth, they would have been walking with those girls and looking for ways to be intimate with them, because that’s the way life and society are. The poor boys were trapped in a cult into which no sane person would voluntarily join if they weren’t forced to believe a bunch of balderdash.

My conundrum is this: the girls are dressed to be as attractive and appealing as they possibly can. It would please them to be approached by boys, although they would likely feign a lack of interest. Life has taught me that the girls are interested and defense demands that they protest… until one boy comes along that suits one girl. One after the other, as they grow and mature, they will mate.

Every boy wants every girl. That’s how nature intended, and it is true of every mammal species. Females, on the other hand, are attracted to males that they judge to be stable, reliable, and capable of supporting a family. It’s only natural.

Some women choose mates that will join into a great party time. Those relationships are rarely happy or long lasting. It’s better to not be taken in by the brilliance of a flair that will soon burn out and be dark. The candle, burning gradually, offers time to make wiser decisions that could lead to a better life.